I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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