In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
