you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My bed smells like the plague
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
