this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
