This girl is more easily done than said...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
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do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
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The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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