Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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