I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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