I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize