ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
