ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
