Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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