I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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