I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
