Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
