You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
