...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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