And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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