It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
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Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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