It's Friday. Sex?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
