If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
