there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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