I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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