I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Pooping to opera.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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