But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
