She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
