do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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