I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
What a dumb baby whore.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
BRING THE BAGELS
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
