The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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