i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
