I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
