no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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