What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish i was in the wii world.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
why is half of my head shaved?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
