What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
MIDGETS
????
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
