I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
