I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
