I smell stomach acid.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
