I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
