She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
