I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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