her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just cropdusted the office
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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