Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Terrible idea I love it
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
