I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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