Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
