i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
