Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
