I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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