My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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