Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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