don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
