Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
