Having a random hookup so left but love u
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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