i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
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She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
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If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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