Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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