I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
