You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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