I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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