Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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