He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Your topless pictures make me question reality
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
