Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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