you guys were way drunker than both of me
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
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