Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize