If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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