It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
